For Goodness’ Sake, Decide What You Want

I used to be a person that dithered.

One day, I would want one thing but because I thought I could not have it, I would change my mind, I would downplay it, I would not fully commit to going after it, I would keep getting distracted by everything but the thing I said I wanted.

And then when the thing did not come because of my craziness, I would take that as confirmation that I could not have it.

I would take it as some kinda word from the Divine that I was not allowed it.

When really, I had never really decided.

It caused me so much pain.

And I blamed the Divine for abandoning me though I was too scared to say such things out loud, of course but I allowed my disappointments to drive me away from intimacy with the Divine and so then, I was REALLY in a mess.

REALLY TRULY!

The Divine finally got my attention and I began to see that I was simply not making a solid and very deliberate decision.

I began to see that I was allowing my fear to make everything take so much longer than it needed to take.

I began to see that I was LITERALLY the only thing in my own way.